I am fading away
December 14, 2009
So I returned to the radiance
that brought my life hope
and a new way to see
and a new way to cope
*
With wide-opened wings
for my greedy heart
Alight like a star
while I fell apart
*
I am fading away
I see you no more
December 14, 2009
You dropped a kiss
like fall’s crimson leaf
cold and sore
to land upon my cheek
*
Before the dark hall
where scion love silhouettes
with my heart in the sky
I burst into pirouette
*
I see you no more
Alone on the sidewalk
December 14, 2009
Like a night with no moon
asleep without dreams
a doom-born maiden
came to undertake me
*
A ruptured recollection
but love like a rapture
I never said a word
left only numb thereafter
*
Left alone on the sidewalk
When we’re together
December 12, 2009
When we’re together
The moon and the stars
Will be jealous
Because they are so far apart
From each other
And so far away
From you
Noise
December 3, 2009
You all know;
it’s no use to deny.
It’s what I do,
I can’t say why
when or how
I lost my mind.
Do me a favor,
would you be so kind?
Forget the lifetime
I was blind
and made my limbs
a perfect sine
to try and distract
so you wouldn’t find
the shallow sea
where I tried to dive,
but not to play
and not to hide
but to drown out
the noise inside.
Today I am Bleeding Profusely
November 8, 2009
As I lifted myself up from the concrete floor,
on pale, trembling arms
I looked down and beheld
my face silhouetted in blood.
Unable to stand yet,
I sat on the floor
and touched my hand to my nose
the void where it used to be.
A new hole in my head
from which sprang warm air
and a warm liquid
that ran ceaselessly down my upper lip.
You let go of his face
and crept to my side
“Are you OK?”
in the voice of a shy child.
I paused.
I thought.
I stood up and watched my nice white shirt
quickly turn red.
“Yes. I’ll be fine.”
“Look at yourself, you’re bleeding all over the place”
My brain became very warm
I was breathing through the hole in my head
and slow, steady breath
bubbled up from the blood
where my nose used to be.
A bit of bone shifted beneath your foot.
“Oh god, please go to the hospital or something, please, oh god”
You held my face, but not to kiss it.
To watch my lips drip
and the color in my eyes fade.
I was bleeding all over your nice white dress.
“Please don’t worry. I hate it when you worry.”
All over your nice white dress.
“I’ll be fine, I swear.”
So I walked to seventh period
and collapsed by the door.
The bus had already taken you
so very far away from me.
There is a new crowd now
of masquerade faces
panting and yelling
rolling me away
Beneath a bright light,
They yell and they shout
and they sweat as they run
I can’t see what they’re so worried about
I’ll be fine, I swear.
If you still cared
October 28, 2009
You could forget my letters
at home for a week
When I write to you
when I cannot speak
You could dance with him
though you know you shouldn’t
And though you know
I wish you wouldn’t
You could leave me with
but one aloof wave
While delivering unto others
a delighted embrace
You could miss my gifts
with swift dismissal
And respond to my spark
with a listless fizzle
But
If I knew you still cared
I’d be alright.
*
If I knew you cared
I would sleep
at night.